Ali : Oi, where the halal trolley?
Worker : Oh, the halal trolly section is there in the right corner.
Ali : Ok, where do you sell the non halal stuff? I want to know so that I don't go anywhere near them.
Worker : Don't worry sir, we have a machine that will detect Muslims and non Muslims. So Muslims will not be allowed to enter.
Ali : Good, I like that.
Worker : Happy that you chose to shop with us. Our store is fully Syariah compliant.
After half an hour.
Worker : Excuse me sir, you can't queue here, this is a non halal counter.
Ali : What do you mean?
Worker : The cashier is not a Muslim. Counters 9,10,12,15, and 19 are halal counters sir.
Ali : Hmm, thank you.
Cashier : That will be 157.85 sir.
Ali : Hmm, here, 50, 50,50, 5, 1, 1 and 85 sen.
Cashier : Sorry sir I am afraid I can't touch your money sir because our scanner detected non syariah compliant notes and syillings sir.
Ali : What is this nonsense, what do you mean my money is syariah non compliant.
Cashier : This 50 and that 50 has pork DNA, that smaller notes are tainted with alchohol and the scanner detected something not right with that 50.
Ali : What? Is it a fake note?
Cashier : No sir, it read "BRIBERY SOURCE DETECTED"
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